A Phone Book?

I came home yesterday to find a phone book in my driveway. A phone book? I can't think of anything more useless. A pledge pin? I laughed hard when I read the text on the bag.

"Please recycle your outdated phone books."

No shit. That's redundant. The phone book itself is outdated! I'm recycling this one straight away.

I can't remember the last time I used a phone book. Oh wait, I think it was two years ago. I needed to prop a door open. The goddamn thing is an environmental nightmare. All that paper for something that I will never use. I wonder how many people picked up their book and took it straight to the trash can. Thing is, I get several different editions. They rarely make it into the house beyond the staging location for trash & recyclables.

I can't believe businesses spend good money to advertise in the phone book still. I heard an ad on the radio for Ace Rent-A-Car. It's the same ad copy from 2002, when I came to Indy. It doesn't direct the listener to their website. It directs the listener to the Yellow Pages. That alone makes me never want to rent a car from Ace. If they can't update their ad copy in nine years, do they update their cars? Do they rent out 1962 A8/Marathons? (Think: Checker cabs)

Well, there was one truly useful line of text on the bag. It read:

"To opt out from future deliveries, visit www.yellowpagesoptout.com"

So, I went there, and it turns out I was eligible for SEVEN different phone book editions! So, I opted out of all of the stupid things.

I hope I never get another door prop, er, phone book again.